


Ace of Hearts

by NKNovak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Acephobia, Alternate Universe - Human, Asexual Gabriel (Supernatural), Asexuality, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-16
Updated: 2019-03-16
Packaged: 2019-11-18 23:40:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18128048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NKNovak/pseuds/NKNovak
Summary: A story about an asexual coming out (written by an asexual) and the highs and lows that come with it.





	Ace of Hearts

_Present Day ___  
Gabriella Novak loved sleeping with Samantha Winchester. The kisses goodnight, the warm, strong arms wrapped around her during the night, the good morning kisses. It was perfect and since they had been dating for 2 years it was a regular thing whether they were in Gabriella’s apartment or Sam’s place like they were today.  
The girlfriends were sitting in Sam’s kitchen eating breakfast.  
“Tomorrow is our anniversary,” Sam said to Gabriella.  
“I hope you’re not just realizing that because if so you need to find me a last-minute anniversary gift today. I already have yours nice and wrapped in a bag”  
“No, that’s not wh- did you say wrapped in a bag?”  
“Yes, wrapped in tissue paper and put in a bag”  
“That’s not wrapped, that’s just in bag” Sam shook her head, that wasn’t the point she wanted to make when she started speaking. “What I meant was, it will be 3 years since we started dating that’s a long time to be with someone”  
Gabriella smiled and nodded “and I loved every minute of it”  
“Well” Sam reached over and took Gabriella’s hand “I was hoping we could make it special”  
Gabriella gave Sam’s a hand a light squeeze before she stood. “Oh?” Gabriella asked, putting her plate in the sink having finished her toast. “What did you have in mind?”  
Sam stood up and stood in front of Gabriella as she walked away from the sink. She put her fingers through her belt loops and pulled her close. “Something we’ve never done before” She leaned down to kiss Gabriella but didn’t realize that Gabriella had paled and her whole body had gone stiff until Gabriella was pulling away from her kiss. Sam was confused. “Gabriella? Angel, what wrong?”  
“Shit!” Gabriella shouted when her eyes traveled over to her clock “I’m going to be late for my appointment!”

____

_12 years ago. ___  
Okay so in retrospect perhaps a family reunion was not one of the best places to have a “coming out.” When she first started talking it felt like a great idea! Multiple birds with one stone type deal, instead all Gabriella got was a bunch of rejection and humiliation. Perhaps, she should count herself lucky that she wasn’t immediately thrown out of the family after being such an embarrassment or “a disgrace!” as her mom put it angerly whispering to the teenager as she pulled her out of the house.  
This is how it went down. Everyone talks in little groups and hangs out until the dinner when they sit at a giant table in the middle of Gabriella’s grandmother's house and talk about whatever they want the entire family to know. Castiel Novak, Gabriella’s older brother, always hated it. “Just another way for people to brag about themselves.” Gabriella usually didn’t have much to say. “I got into Trinity High School” was what she had said a few years ago. It was a difficult high school to get into but really good and she had done it but no one is her family was too impressed, they would probably rather her tuition money go to some catholic high school like most other people in their family but she refused. This year, she was going to speak again. This year she was going to come out. BIG MISTAKE. First of all, she didn’t get to finished what she was saying.  
“Okay, well, I found something out about myself a few weeks ago and I figure that now is about as good a time as any to tell you all, I, Uh, well. . . I realized that I’m not really interested in guys, not in-” She get to finish saying “not in a sexual way” instead her grandmother, old woman Novak started talking over her. She thought Gabriella was gay. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised, Gabriella. You never were really a girl growing up. Always such a tomboy. And now your gay, well, I’m okay with your sexuality as long as you don’t bring any of those girls back here”  
“No” Gabriella started again. What grandmother had just said was wrong on _multiple _levels but she didn’t have the time or energy to address that right now, she just had get what she wanted to say out of her system. “That’s not- what I’m trying to say is I’m asexual. I don’t like girls or guys in that kinda way. I just don’t feel anything like that. . . for anyone.” She was a senior in high school so she knew kids at her school were all getting it on either with their boy/girlfriend’s, their toys, or themselves but Gabriella never felt like she wanted to. She didn’t realize what it was until she came across people online who were talking about “asexuality awareness”. At that point, the only asexuality she knew about were plants from freshmen biology, she checked out the blog and realized there was a reason she didn’t feel anything, she was asexual, and she was normal! Her family was silent, and Gabriella suddenly wished she could just sprout wings and disappear in a flurry of feathers, unfortunately for her, she couldn’t. So, there she sat until her Aunt Amara spoke. She really wished Amara hadn’t after hearing what she said. She was a psychiatrist meaning the founding father of her profession was Freud, who thought all women wanted to grow penises and all men wanted to have sex with their mothers. She told her “Gabriella, your young and some young people your age are, for lack of a better word, afraid of sex. It’s nothing to really worry about, I can recommend some therapist’s that can help you get past this.”__

_____ _

_Present Day ___  
Gabriella rushed into the lobby of the clean glass Manhattan building and up to the front desk. “Hi.”  
The man at the front desk, Mr. Roche, smiled at Gabriella. “You're just in time Mrs. Novak. Dr. Bradbury will be ready in a moment and you can go in.”  
Gabriella nodded. “Thanks” she took a seat in the waiting room.

____

_12 years ago ___  
Gabriella was already seeing a therapist back then. She was depressed in high school, not enough that it made her suicidal, but it started affecting a usually bright student. Gabriella’s therapist realized her depression was due to low self-esteem issues she had developed by basing her self-worth on things like her looks, which she felt were less than attractive since she wasn’t skinny and needed glasses, and her grades, which were steadily going down around this time. Gabriella wasn’t the one who decided she was only worth something if her grades were high and she was attractive, that came from her family. She had an overachiever for a brother. Straight A’s and scholarships to wherever he wanted to go. The Novak’s were disappointed when Gabriella didn’t turn out exactly like Castiel. No, Gabriella had a huge sweet tooth, she didn’t care much if it made her chubby, that was until her mom started saying “if you keeping eating like that you’ll gain weight and spend the rest of your life trying to lose it” and “you need to cut down on the sweets, you’ve already started putting on weight.” She also wasn’t an overachiever but she wasn’t an underachiever. She was average overall. Some subjects came easy to her and some didn’t. She got A’s in most subjects but did her mom care. No. She only cared about her C+ in Chemistry. She started seeing a therapist when she was in 6th grade. By 7th and 8th grade her therapist had helped so much that she was doing immensely better in school and had managed to get into Trinity High School. She trusted the doctor and told him the whole story. Well, most of the story.  
“Your family reacted his way to you being gay?”  
“No” Gabriella answered looking down and playing with his hands. “I’m not gay. . . I’m. . . I, Uh. . .”  
“Gabriella. Look at me” Her doctor tried to soothe the panicking teen and it was working. Gabriella’s eyes met his. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I’m just here to help you.”  
Gabriella nodded “I know. . . I’m just nervous. Doc, I’m a. . . sexual”  
“You mean asexual, as in don’t experience sexual attraction”  
Gabriella nodded, eyes wide. The only people who knew what asexual was were angry teens on a blog. But her doctor knew. “Yes, exactly. . . Is my aunt, right? Is something wrong with me?”  
“No. Some will disagree with me, but science will find a way to prove them wrong. It was through for a while that asexuality was a mental disorder and it was in the DSM until 2013 but there is nothing wrong with you Gabriella. That goes for every other asexual. If you are around people who think that then you need to do your best to remove yourself from those people.”  
After Gabriella’s doctor retired, he referred Gabriella to Dr. Bradbury who had the same reaction to Gabriella’s coming out, and she had been seeing her ever since.

____

_Present Day _  
The next stop for Gabriella this Tuesday was work. She always went into work a little later on Tuesday and Thursday due to her therapist appointment but she was the boss so she could do whatever she wanted. Her employees had worked there long enough that they knew all about Gabriella’s therapist’s appointments and made sure everything ran smoothly till she arrived. While Gabriella was walking to work she heard her phone ring. She didn’t want to look at who was calling because she feared seeing Sam’s name a picture on her phone. But when she pulled her phone out of her pocket, she saw that it wasn’t Sam. No. It was Castiel’s name on her phone along with a picture of his cat. Gabriella had no problem answering this call. “Hey, Cassie. What’s up?”__

____

_12 years ago ___  
After Gabriella’s mother had called her a disgrace and pulled her outside, telling her off for being an embarrassment (which her therapist _loved _since it really helped bring up Gabriella’s self-esteem), Castiel followed asking to speak to his sister alone for a minute. When their mother had gone inside Gabriella was the first to speak.__  
“Cas, don’t. I love you, okay? You’re my big brother and you’ve helped me with my school work, you’ve comforted me in some dark times, and you never forget to tell me that my self-worth has nothing to do with my grades or how I look. You’re an amazing brother, I just- I know what you think of asexuality. Okay. You told me my freshmen year and I don’t think I can handle you tearing into me about this. I’m already the embarrassment of the Novak family!”  
It was true that during Gabriella’s freshmen year of high school Gabriella and Castiel had a conversation that went a little something like this.  
Castiel told Gabriella “if you ever realize your gay or even bi, don’t listen to mom, you can tell me”  
At the time Gabriella shrugged and was like “okay whatever, I’m straight but thanks”  
“Just don’t tell me your asexual or some shit like that”  
“Asexual? What’s that?”  
Castiel shook his head and was like “don’t worry about it”  
And Gabriella didn’t cause the only asexuality she knew was from her freshman biology class. It wasn’t until years later she realized she was asexual. She couldn’t tell Castiel alone but perhaps if she had a choir of support behind her at the reunion Castiel would change his mind about what he thought about asexuality but that’s not what happened.  
Castiel walked over to Gabriella and Gabriella got nervous. Castiel wrapped his arms around Gabriella in a hug. Gabriella slowly relaxed in Castiel’s arms and returned the hug. “Cas?”  
“I’m not going to pretend to fully know what asexuality is” Castiel replied. “I have questions but I don’t love you any less for what you are, Gabriella. You’ll always be my little sister, asexual or otherwise.”  
Gabriella couldn’t have been happier. She answered all of Castiel’s questions. All were pretty reasonable questions about asexuality. So, maybe this night wasn’t all bad. After all her big brother accepted her and if she was being honest, her big brother was all she ever needed. 

_____ _

_Present Day _  
Gabriella arrived at work. She greeted her employees as she made her way to her office in the back like she did every day. She took her green canvas jacket off and draped it over the back of her desk chair trading it for an apron. She could tell from the moment she walked in today was going to be a busy day in her bakery.__

____

_5 years ago _  
Six months ago, Gabriella had finally opened a bakery, like she’d always wanted to. It took years of working jobs that she’d hated before she was able to. Six months and she was already turning a major profit. She was told opening a bakery was risky work but, Gabriella knew this is what she also wanted to do and that she would do well because no one made baked goods quite like Gabriella did, they were addicting. Today, however, her employees convinced Gabriella to close early and they, Raphael, Nicole, and Michael took her out for her birthday. They went to a bar in the city, they drank, danced, did some regrettable karaoke, and Gabriella told them. She just dropped it in conversation, and no one reacted like it was no big deal, it was the best reaction Gabriella could have wished for and she didn’t even remember it till Nicole refreshed her on what happened the next morning, since she had gotten pretty drunk.__

____

_Present Day _  
When work was over Gabriella started walking back to her own place. No doubt Sam would be stopping by if she wasn’t already there when she walked in. Gabriella shouldn’t be worried. She loved Sam and Sam loved her. But she said the same thing about the first person she loved and after Kali, she never told any of her boyfriends or girlfriends that she was asexual.__

____

____

_10 years ago _  
Gabriella wasn’t going to college so her brother, a senior in college, invited her to a college party. Castiel figured it’d be a good way for his little sister to meet some people her own age. Gabriella wasn’t so sure but decided to go anyway. After all, what 20-year-old would turn down going to a party? When Gabriella was there she met a few people, none that particularly stood out. That was until she saw Kali Zahira. She found out she was a study abroad student from India and she looked amazing in the red dress she was wearing. Gabriella introduced herself went over to talk to her. A few weeks later they were dating. After a year Gabriella told Kali that she was asexual. Kali had said she understood but the way she kept trying to ‘fix’ Gabriella showed that she didn’t understand one bit. Kali kept insisting that “if you would just sleep with me, you won’t be asexual anymore.” Hearing that was like she was stabbing Gabriella the heart. Gabriella had to break up with her, even though she didn’t want to, Kali wasn’t healthy for her to be around.__

____

____

_Present Day ___  
Of course, Sam was arriving at her apartment at the same time as Gabriella. Of course, today of all days Sam wasn’t working late.  
“Did you win?” Gabriella asked not looking at Sam just putting her key in her lock. “Put another bad guy behind bars?”  
“I did.” Sam replied following Gabriella into her apartment. “I had a great day at work. How about you?”  
“Busy as always” Gabriella dropped her keys in a small bowl by her door, she felt relieved, maybe they wouldn’t talk about this morning, maybe Gabriella could hold onto her love for a little bit longer. “But those are the best days, I prefer work to sitting around waiting for customers.”  
“I’m not surprised, everything you make is amazing.” There was a pause before Sam continued. “Gabriella, we have to talk about this morning”  
“Sam-”  
“Gabriella, I obviously crossed a line, you ran out and haven’t looked at me the entire time I’ve been in your apartment. Look at me, please, and tell me what’s going on.”  
Gabriella turned to look at Sam. She seemed concerned, genuinely worried about Gabriella. Gabriella took a breath. “Alright, Sam, I may have not been completely honest with you when we started dating but, in my defense, I hadn’t been honest with anyone I was dating, and I didn’t know at the time we’d outlast all of them.”  
“Gabriella, what are you saying?”  
“I’m not gay like I told you when we first got together”  
“Okay,” Sam replied. “I know you’re not straight so, what are you?”  
“I’m asexual”  
“Oh”  
“Oh?” Gabriella asked. She didn’t know what Sam would say but she did think it would be more than: Oh.  
“Well, yeah, that explains your behavior this morning.” Sam walked over to Gabriella “You know, Gabby, if your asexual and don't want to have sex, you just had to tell me. I wouldn’t have a problem with that or you.” She leaned down to kiss the shorter woman.  
“I love you, Angel,” Sam said for the first time in there 2, almost 3, year relationship.  
“I love you, too, Cupcake”


End file.
